i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
