I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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