I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
you had me at cake vodka
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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