so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
