Me too!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
