your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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