I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I will pee on everything he values.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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