Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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