i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
