i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
