My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize