Don't make out with my wife yet
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
that's an acceptable place to lick
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
