You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize