A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
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he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.