I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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