she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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