Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
