I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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