He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
