Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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