It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
