He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The air was thick with penises
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
