I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
