Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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