what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
