Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
