He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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