smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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