I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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