Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
