I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize