remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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