She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
