is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
