so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
