All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
