it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
