Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Your topless pictures make me question reality
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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