If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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