that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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