I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
