Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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