my mouth tastes like poor choices
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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