i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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