Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize