I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
