just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
