Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Hippo gnu deer
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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