So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
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She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
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I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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