You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
