Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
