And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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