The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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