I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
