Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
