I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I bet he comes in French.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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