I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
